I fucking hate being a dictator. I said to my defence minister over some kimchi that I had wanted to get rid of the gas problem I've been having, and it turns into this
. Good help is so hard to find.
Another thing. In these modern times it is necessary even for as beloved a leader as myself to maintain certain security precautions. A key one is having decoys: fine men have been deliberately altered to pretend to be me. Obviously they will never be quite like the perfection that I represent, but they can be passable. Judge for yourself
. It's good to know there are still brave men prepared to take a bullet or two for me.