We sat down and started with the usual chit-chat. Bombs, money, bombs, dirty Americans and a few rude jokes. Then he started pawing at the gold goblets and even though he thought I didn't notice, he swiped the silver cutlery. No one else noticed, because he and his flunkeys were using their fingers and eating like, well, Arabs. He is a very tactile person - he wanted to hold my hand all the time, which I didn't like at all. He didn't even wash his hands after using the bathroom (don't ask how I know. This is North Korea. I know.)
He was very worried about his security, if the constant closeness with which he held on to his bodyguard was any guide. It was just as well, because while everyone was sleeping my guards heard some strangle strangling noises and groans coming from the room he was staying in. Thank God he had that bodyguard, because we burst in to find the guard covering Arafat completely. The guard was so alert he hadn't even had time to put any clothes on! I told my guards they could learn from this dedication to service.